Postpartum: Why I'm not "bouncing back" & why you shouldn't either
- Melissa Brande
- Mar 20
- 6 min read
Updated: Mar 30
Recently, I’ve had a few postpartum ladies in a couple different classes ask why they’re still battling with a tummy, or how long does it take to get rid of the belly fat. One lady in particular was only 2 months postpartum…and with so much information out there, I'm left wondering how there is still so much misinformation and new mummies wondering why they’re not “bouncing back” after 2 months.
The Myth of the “Bounce Back”
Does this look familiar?
The "Bounce Back Culture" is a toxic expectation that a body should erase the evidence of a 9-month miracle in a matter of days. It’s not reality.
Your body didn't "break," it evolved, grew and birthed life; it performed a miracle. So it doesn't need to "snap" back, it needs to heal.
We are the first generation of parents to recover in the 'Digital Fishbowl.' Previous generations had their village; we have an algorithm. When you see a high-profile influencer in a bikini two weeks postpartum, remember that you aren't seeing the full picture. You aren't seeing the pelvic floor physical therapy, the specialized nutritionists, or the childcare that allows for three-hour naps. Comparing your 'Day 14' of raw, unfiltered recovery to someone else's curated 'Day 14' is a recipe for heartbreak. Your journey is yours, and your worth is not measured in the circumference of your waist.
The Biology of the "Fourth Trimester"
During pregnancy, internal organs are displaced to make room for a tiny human. The uterus expands from the pelvis into the abdomen, displacing and compressing surrounding organs to accommodate the baby. The intestines shift upward/backward, the stomach moves up/sideways causing reflux, the liver is pushed, and the diaphragm rises, reducing lung capacity. Additionally, the heart pumps 50% more blood, and the bladder is compressed.
Your organs need time to find their "home" again.
The 6-Week Misconception: The "6-week clearance" is just for basic surgical/tissue healing, not for full athletic or hormonal readiness. Your doctor is giving you the all-clear to start working out again, GENTLY. During pregnancy, you lose a lot of muscle strength as well (it sounds counterintuitive, I know), but you need to give yourself time to build that up again. As the saying goes: “Slow and steady, wins the race”.
The Skeleton: Relaxin is a hormone, primarily produced by the corpus luteum (within the ovaries) and placenta during pregnancy, that relaxes pelvic ligaments, softens the cervix, and inhibits uterine contractions to support pregnancy and prepare for childbirth. It relaxes muscles, joints, and ligaments in the pelvis to facilitate childbirth, often causing generalized joint laxity, particularly in the knees, hips, and ankles. It peaks in the first trimester to aid implantation and again during labour. Progesterone and Oestrogen work alongside Relaxin to relax muscles and loosen ligaments, in the pelvis, hips and spine to accommodate baby.
Relaxin typically remains in the system for 3-12 months after childbirth, as the liver takes time to metabolize this hormone. With breastfeeding, Relaxin may remain at higher levels for longer, sometimes exceeding the 12-month mark. It is thus common to feel the effects of joint laxity, such as changes in shoe size or pelvic instability, for many months after delivery. And because joints and ligaments stay looser during this period, it is important to be cautious with exercise and physical activity to prevent injury.
Redefining "Recovery" vs. "Bouncing Back"
Healing the Core: Diastasis recti is the separation of the rectus abdominis ("six-pack") muscles, often causing a midline belly "pouch”, core weakness, and back pain. Primarily caused by pregnancy, it can also stem from rapid weight changes or chronic straining. Treatment involves physical therapy, specific exercises (e.g., transverse abdominis engagement), and surgery in severe cases. Symptoms can include lower back pain, poor posture, pelvic pain, and, in some cases, incontinence.
Pelvic Floor Health: The "invisible" recovery. A flat stomach doesn't mean a strong pelvic floor.
Whether you give birth vaginally or via C-section, your pelvic floor does a lot of work during pregnancy carrying the organs within your pelvic bowl, as well as the increasing weight of the baby, and thus also needs time to recover. There are pelvic floor breathing exercises that can be done to balance the pelvic floor post birth, as well as bringing in the activation of the transverse abdominal muscles (deep core muscles) to work hand-in-hand with healing the core. Balancing the pelvic floor muscles is extremely important before getting back into any HIIT workouts, running, jumping, etc postpartum.
Mental Bandwidth: During the 4th Trimester, the "brain fog" and emotional shifts make high-intensity fitness goals secondary to mental well-being because the body is undergoing significant, simultaneous, and profound physiological and neurological recovery. During this phase, the brain is undergoing structural remodelling and hormonal changes that affect cognitive function, stress tolerance, and emotional regulation. Prioritizing rest is crucial to allow the brain and body to adapt to the massive shift in hormone levels (sudden drop in oestrogen/progesterone) and intense sleep deprivation, rather than forcing immediate physical "bouncing back".
The Comparison Trap (Social Media vs. Reality)
Lighting and Angles: A gentle reminder that what we see on Instagram is curated - it is all a matter of manipulating the right lighting and angles in order to get the perfect shot, which is most likely not portraying true reality.
Support Systems: It's important to remember that the people (influencers/celebrities) who portray the "bounce back" narrative often have night nurses, chefs, and trainers—tools the average parent doesn't have.
The Cost of Rushing: The physical risks of returning to high-impact exercise too soon can include prolapse, hernia and chronic pain, as well as prolonging your recovery time. Give yourself time and grace, make sure your body is ready, take the time to heal, balance your pelvic floor muscles and correct any abdominal separation first. Increase the exercise load slowly.
How to "Nourish Back" Instead of "Bounce Back"
Mindset Shift: Move from losing weight to gaining strength and energy. Nourish your body with rest, eating well-balanced meals, drinking plenty of fluids and gentle movement.
Rest as Productive: Start reframing a nap or a sit-down from “laziness” to being a vital part of tissue repair, as this aligns with the biological reality that the body heals, rebuilds muscle, and repairs tissue damage primarily while in a state of rest. When we stop moving, the body switches into "repair mode" and activates inner healing, allowing energy to be redirected to healing rather than daily activity, thus returning to a state of homeostasis so that your body can repair and recover.
Rest is also essential for supporting women's hormonal health, acting as a crucial regulator for the endocrine system, metabolism, and stress response. Because women are more likely to experience sleep disorders and have unique, shifting hormonal needs (menstrual cycle, pregnancy, menopause), consistent rest is critical for preventing hormonal imbalances.
Gentle Milestones: Focus on small wins, like a pain-free walk or a full night of sleep, rather than fitting into old jeans.
Conclusion: Honour the Story
The Battle Scars: Celebrate stretch marks, softer bellies, and wider hips as the "architecture of motherhood." Your body did an amazing job of growing a tiny human and bringing them into this world - look at your body with awe.
I encourage each and everyone of you to unfollow accounts that make you feel "less than" and to give your bodies the grace they deserve.
"Your body is a house that just finished a 40-week renovation. Don't expect the paint to be dry and the furniture to be moved in overnight."
And to finish off, I'm including some body positive affirmations. Print them off, pin them up, do whatever you need to do to remind yourself of what your body has achieved, and to love and appreciate the battle scars.
Author Founder of "uMoya" Yoga & Wellness Brande
Boy mom & non-"bounce backer"
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